Despatches from the Field: Krauss’ theory of relativity

In the last few days we’ve been informed that bees and fridges represent more threat to society than Islamic terrorism…

The leftoid logic process by which true risk can be analysed and assessed is, I think, one of the most profound evolutionary leaps in mankind’s intellectual development in all of history.

The sheer brilliance of the refrigerator/bee analogy is even more remarkable given that it transcends both philosophy and physics, simultaneously.

Given that the main proponent and exponent of this leftard epiphany is American theoretical physicist Laurence Krauss, I submit we honour his success by formally naming his process as follows:

Krauss’ Theory of Relativity

We can apply it beyond the issue of jihadi lunacy to other problematic areas in order to gain true perspective of life’s perplexing conundrums and difficulties. For example:

Did you know that you and your children have far more risk of being killed by either bee sting or falling refrigerator than you do of being molested by a Catholic religious?

Once this unarguable fact is considered and digested, the entire issue of clerical child abuse just evaporates and disappears, like so much ethereal mist in the morning sun.

Job done – who needs a Royal Commission?


I can see Krauss’ Theory of Relativity alleviating 99% of the problems known to man within six months.

Verily, giants walk amongst us.

Krause is a shoe-in for next year’s Nobel Peace Prize.


Jim from Boomba will contribute to this website on occasion under the title ‘Despatches from the Field’. His focus will be to poke a little fun at the insanity unleashed by the Left…

Author: Jim From Boomba

Jim from Boomba is a grumpy, old, white man and contributes to with 'Despatches from the Field' - regular contributions that poke fun at the insanity unleashed on the world by philosophers from the Left...

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