Two days ago it was Wednesday.
And on Wednesdays in New South Wales the ‘Thought Police’ throw open the Garry ‘Herpes’ Burns file and rubber stamp whatever it is that has been thrust in there recently.
No one really knows why. It’s just the way things have been done for so long now that it’s become an ingrained habit.
Generations of ‘Conciliation Officers’ have ambled into the lift and pressed the button that says ‘The Entire Floor Filled with Garry Burns’ Complaints’ and then moseyed on out and stamped away with gay abandon for a good hour or so before going on to attend the International Whatever Woke Day it is morning tea.
Hence the reason I’m writing this. The Thought Police kindly informed me on Wednesday that they’ve proudly rubber-stamped Burns’ 37th and latest complaint against me.
I have no idea how much the Department of Burns that oversees the Burns Act 1977 (NSW) has cost but the savings on rubber stamps alone would probably fund a transition to a zero carbon economy for the entire nation.
Indeed, there are probably small Pacific islands sinking under the waves right now just from the carbon emissions produced by the Thought Police’s rubber stamps. These islands are slowly disappearing from view as I type. And it’s all because some factory in China is open 24/7, crammed full of Corona Virus infected children working night and day filling boxes with neat little rubber stamps all destined for the Temple of Approved Speech in Sydney.
Alas, we could have a clean, green future but Woke World would rather fund the Bureaucracy of Burns. Won’t someone please get Greta onto this mob.
I must admit that it’s probably good for some.
Connie Santiago in particular.
Connie’s spent the better part of a decade receiving Burns’ complaints, furrowing her brows and then eagerly stamping ‘approved’ across the front of them. Without Burns, I reckon poor old Connie would probably have to do something useful for a living. Like get a real job.
But waddaya know.
Burns is keeping Connie busy doing something so insidiously and farcically inane that her only possible purpose can be to make others feel better about themselves because they’re not her. For instance, it’s likely even the producers of Married At First Sight breathe a little easier each night, soothing themselves in the knowledge that they haven’t stooped so low as to do Connie’s job.
Personally, I don’t know how Connie does it. I’d rather lick the insides of that cruise ship quarantined off Japan than work for the New South Wales Anti-Discrimination Board.
Normal people would’ve tried to escape or sucked cane toads until it was all over but Connie seems to like this job. I’m guessing she thinks that she’s making society a better place by poking her huffy and official New South Wales government nose into my views in Queensland and turning up to the odd Mardi Gras event on the taxpayer dime.
For the young people reading this: please don’t be like Connie. Do something useful. Anything.
Just don’t sign up for the ‘Thought Police’. Before you know it you will be hunting Christians and resolving disputes between gay men who think transgender ‘women’ are ugly and proudly telling people that Garry Burns is your ‘client’.
Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Connie. I’m sure any day now that she’ll be eligible for long service leave and New South Wales will have to employ someone else for three months just to rubber stamp Burns’ complaints as they spill out of the fax machine.
Or, it could just do a Homer Simpson and get a typing bird to automatically hit ‘approve’ on any and all complaints.
Just in case you are wondering if the Commonwealth government’s proposed Religious Discrimination Bill will do anything at all to end this insanity, I have some sad news for you: the Commissar of the New South Wales Thought Police overseeing this little operation is Annabelle Bennett.
And Annabelle – the same Annabelle orchestrating the latest hunt for me – was one of the key members of the Ruddock Religious Freedom Review. And the Religious Discrimination Bill is one of key recommendations of the Ruddock Religious Freedom Review.
In other words, the Thought Police designed the Religious Discrimination Bill.
If I just destroyed your confidence in the entire system, spare a thought for me. I’ve been making my lost and lonely way in this world, entirely bereft of hope, for approximately 2,000 days now.
So. What it is that has got Burns’ knickers in a knot this time?
Well, that would be the views of Queenslanders, expressed in Queensland, about what happens in Brisbane City Council libraries.
Specifically, Burns is all frothy at the mouth because I shared a petition launched by the Australian Christian Lobby on the Brisbane City Council website opposing ‘Drag Queen Story Time’.
Obviously, this means that the Thought Police in New South Wales have donned their capes, jumped into the #loveislove wagon and raced northwards again, tut tutting away as fast as they can.
This is the 37th time they’ve decided that there isn’t enough going on in New South Wales to keep themselves busy and they’ve hot-footed it up over the border to interrogate me.
Given Burns and his bureaucratic cronies have a 100% failure rate so far, maybe this time will be their lucky break.
I doubt it though.
For those who would like to see the complaint, I have uploaded it in all its glory here.
I now have until 8 April 2020 to explain myself to anti-Christian, communist, totalitarian overlords from another state that I don’t even live in, let alone get to vote in.
I’m inclined to simply give them the finger this time.
I’m far more interested in what will happen in the New South Wales parliament where an inquiry has now been launched into the Thought Police. It’s about bloody time.
Finally, just in case your name is Garry Burns and you are obsessively going over every dot and jot in this article, I note that you seem a tad upset because some people believe that there is a drug problem at the end of the rainbow.
Really? I wonder how on earth they ever came to that conclusion? It just beats me.
Perhaps they read one of the umpteen reports that have found people involved in this lifestyle snort far more cocaine than the average Australian.
Or, perhaps, they just might have picked it up off your very website. Who knows?
Do you remember this little article you published way back in 2011. Do you?
Burns added that acon discredited the gay community and was concerned that the mainstream media may fear reporting on acon’s outrageous conduct for fear of being branded homophobic.
“Acon gets away with this because many in the media are too scared to touch them because they’ll be branded homophobic,” said Burns.
“Well have no such fear because I’m gay and I’m prepared to criticise acon.”
Burns said the publication of a ‘how to take illegal drugs guide’ was catastrophic for the gay community.
“The publication of this guide is not a disaster,” he said. “Not finding a parking space in the city is a disaster. This is a catastrophe. Acon is condoning and encouraging the use of substances that harm and kill people – and the public is funding it.
“I can only hope the new NSW Government, when it is elected in March, shuts this organisation down,” Burns concluded.
Oops. Who would have thought that one of the peak gay groups in New South Wales issued guidelines on how to take drugs?
Alas, despite Burns’ huffing, ACON is still here, funded by both Liberal and Labor governments.
And ACON argues that it needs to put out such ‘safety guidelines’ given all the drugs ingested, snorted, injected and taken anally at ‘family friendly’ events like the Mardi Gras.
I guess it’s no surprise why this happens either.
If I knew that Burns was batting on the same team as me, I’d want to scull a schooner of LSD too…